Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
I started a new job three weeks ago and one of my co-workers keeps calling me Adele. That'd be fine but my name is Amanda. I don’t want to upset him because he’s been exceptionally nice but how do I tell him my name without hurting his feelings? I’m fast becoming the victim of sad wit - (the 'rolling in the deep' jokes are killing me).
From Amanda (or is it Adele?)
Dear 'A'
I think you’re in an enormous position of power. The best time you’ll ever have at work is when you first start. This is when all the staff (both male and female) turn in to male peacocks and strut around your work area shaking their tail feathers. They'll do a little dance and show you only their best and brightest colours. It's much like the early stages of dating but in your case, you get paid to turn up to this love-in. So I say, use it.
You see, this is the time where everyone is nicey-nice to you. Why? Because work is nothing more than collecting as many scapegoats as you can. Much like politics (and a very popular Wiggle's song), it's a numbers game...
Your co-workers will come running to your aid after you make your first REAL mistake. They say, ‘that’s fine, don't worry about it, you’re still learning’, as you're gathered in the assembly area watching the fire brigade put out the fire. They’ll give you a little side cuddle and say, ‘Hey, no big deal… in my last job, I slept with my boss’ wife… boy, that was a mistake…’.
Then later on, when they've figured out you've become someone elses scapegoat (traitor), the peacocks leave and your coworkers turn in to unnatural, scaly vermin with fire breathing capabilities. Behaviour includes - yelling at you for using the communal printer, scowling at you after you say 'good morning' and the very popular, cold shoulder treatment (but in some cases, having co-workers ignore you is actually a good thing). It's then you realise your once paid paradise oasis has turned into a cubical coffin.
So I say, let your co-worker call you Adele for as long as he likes.
But be proactive about it. Go to the store and buy fifty name tags with different names on them. Wear a different name tag every two weeks or so. This way, your co-worker will always think you’re the new person and you'll never become anyone's 'doe'.
