Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
While doing a routine cleanup of my Facebook page, I discovered that a couple of people I know from work have removed me at some stage. I thought I was pretty tight with these people so I am a little upset about it. Do you think I should do or say anything about it? Do I approach them about it and as what’s going on or do I just try and add them again ask if nothing has happened?
Desperate & friendless
Well, well, well, the slasher becomes the slashed. What an irony. Let me remind you it was YOU who was ready and willing to use ruthless ‘unfriend’ button. You. So don’t go all sooky on me now because a frenemy has given you the e-boot. This is karma working at it's sparkling best. But, wait a second, a frenemy? Yes, a frenemy. One part friend, one part enemy. This is where people are all nicey, nicey to your face but all stabby, stabby behind your back. Welcome to the real world hot shot.
But before I go further, here’s some self indulgent editorial. Isn’t Facebook great? I can’t think of anywhere in the world where my current boyfriend, ex-boyfriend and my future boyfriend can happily co-exist. Wow, what a new and wonderful world we live in. Now, if only I could get my mother to stop sending me friend requests and start sending me more money, I think my life would be perfect.
Someone asked me the other day if it was rude to ‘unfriend’ a dead friend. Of course the answer yes but it got me thinking. What Facebook needs is a button to simultaneously deal with dead friends and friends you no longer want to be friends with but are too weak to tell them. And I have just the click for it. It’s called a ‘dead to me’ button. This way, your dead friends can rest in peace and you can rest in peace knowing the people you hate will never know you hate them. Don't worry, your 'dead to me friends' can still post useless updates and get their pathetic little Farmville achievement ribbons but you no longer have to read about it. Why? Because they're dead to you. This is genius stuff Mark Zuckerberg and yes, you heard it here first.
PS - Should you approach the people who have unfriended you? No, don't make a fuss. You work in the company’s I.T. department. You know what to do.
