The cold season has already started and I’m sick and tired of blessing everyone after they sneeze. I wait the obligatory couple of seconds to see if anyone else will do it and they don’t. Why is it always left up to me to bless people? Do I have a daily quota of ‘bless you’s’? If I do, what’s the number? Surely it’s more than a serial killer and less than a priest ??
Hey. Leave the comedy to me. Stop cutting my grass. You don’t see me coming to YOUR workplace, facilitating YOUR powerpoint presentations, drinking YOUR coffee and hitting on YOUR secretary. Ask your question, read the answer, subscribe and move on. That’s what happens here. Pull your head in.
Now, let’s get something out of the way. I never really liked you at work. There's so many reasons but I must confess, I found your ‘bless you’s’ especially irritating. I don’t care what you say; you never waited the obligatory couple of seconds. You were all over the 'bless you’s' like a fat kid to chocolate cake. As soon as someone slightly heaved to a sneeze, you scooted to their workpod with a ‘bless you’ half way out your mouth. If you actually worked that quick, you’d be a respected member of society.
You’re so disturbed you’d bring a box of tissues to our weekly meetings. Everyone knew you were subliminally sending messages, just waiting for your next snot fix. You rang people up at home when they called in sick - as they held the most promise. You could hear a sneeze on the next building. You deliberately became a First Aid officer so you could trawl the floor like a lady of the night, looking for her next John. You’d deliberately get sick, come in to work and spread the germs, just so you could play God and bless everyone.
And do you know what? You’re not God, so stop acting like it. Also, you’re not a comedian, so knock it off. Do your job. Whatever that is.
Hey. Leave the comedy to me. Stop cutting my grass. You don’t see me coming to YOUR workplace, facilitating YOUR powerpoint presentations, drinking YOUR coffee and hitting on YOUR secretary. Ask your question, read the answer, subscribe and move on. That’s what happens here. Pull your head in.
Now, let’s get something out of the way. I never really liked you at work. There's so many reasons but I must confess, I found your ‘bless you’s’ especially irritating. I don’t care what you say; you never waited the obligatory couple of seconds. You were all over the 'bless you’s' like a fat kid to chocolate cake. As soon as someone slightly heaved to a sneeze, you scooted to their workpod with a ‘bless you’ half way out your mouth. If you actually worked that quick, you’d be a respected member of society.
You’re so disturbed you’d bring a box of tissues to our weekly meetings. Everyone knew you were subliminally sending messages, just waiting for your next snot fix. You rang people up at home when they called in sick - as they held the most promise. You could hear a sneeze on the next building. You deliberately became a First Aid officer so you could trawl the floor like a lady of the night, looking for her next John. You’d deliberately get sick, come in to work and spread the germs, just so you could play God and bless everyone.
And do you know what? You’re not God, so stop acting like it. Also, you’re not a comedian, so knock it off. Do your job. Whatever that is.
