Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
I'm a heterosexual male who puts smilies in text messages. Why?
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see the correlation between being gay and sending emoticons. Being gay involves the removal of pants. All you’re talking about is sending a text message. If you ask me (and you have) I think the problem is squarely on your bald and oddly shaped head.
I think emoticons are perfectly suitable for any kind of man. The male species are all about visuals. You know, shapes and pictures of good looking girls / cars / motorbikes / smart phones.
To prove my point, pop quiz hot shot. You have less than fifty seconds to tell your girlfriend you love her because if you don’t, she’ll explode. What do you do? What do you do? … Say ‘Hey baby, I love you, I’m really, really happy and you’re the girl of my dreams’ or you can just send her a YJ.
You see, emoticons are not only efficient, but it doesn’t involve fruity English words. Ergo, manly.
My only problem with emoticons is the sheer amount of them. I have forty-eight options on my phone. I don’t even know if I even have that many emotions. Half the time I don’t know if I’m happy, sad, frightened or poking my tongue out at you. Actually, I tell a lie. I’m always angry. That’s the red, angry looking emoticon...
So, emoticon's are one of the less gay things, you can do and have done in your military life. In fact, admit it, you've had more meaningful relationships with smiley faces than you had with real people. Now if only you could act like a emoticon and disappear when I press delete. ... ;-P
Send me your question - angryauntis@gmail.com
