Dear Angry Agony Aunt
My boyfriend is a wonderful man with a kind heart. However, he has an issue with the pedestrian lights at intersections. As soon as he gets to the lights and there’s a red man, he gets aggressive with the button and frantically presses until the green man lights up. It’s really embarrassing to stand next to him when he’s like that so how can I calm him down at the lights?
What is it with that stupid dumbass red man? I’ve had many arguments with my boyfriend about this subject at the lights. My boyfriend may not violently bash at the button, but he verbally bashes me instead.
Every time is the same. We’re holding hands as we get to the lights. I press the button (once) and wait. He lets go of my hand and huffs half way across the road without me. I give him a death stare. He sighs, comes back then gives me a verbal spray full of misused English sounding words followed by a little spittle.
He argues that you can cross the road (with care) if there is a red man. As long as there’s no traffic, the red man is more of a suggestion than an enforceable instruction. He tells me (very loudly sometimes) that it’s a waste of time to stand by the road when there’s clearly no traffic.
I disagree. I argue (much more calmly) that if you’re doing bad things, bad things will happen. If that truck you didn’t see slams in to your person and the subsequent call involves an ambulance or a coroner, you’re in the wrong and you have no-one to blame but yourself. That is, if you’re still alive to start distributing blame. So we argue for twenty seconds, the green man appears, we cross the road and it’s all over.
And the reason I don't just let him go and chance it is because I need him alive for sex and chores around the house. In that order.
PS - But to answer your question, the solution is quite simple. As your boyfriend is bashing the button, start screaming. Tell him your channeling the pain of the red man. Scream that you can feel every bash of the button. He presses, you scream. Repeat.
My boyfriend is a wonderful man with a kind heart. However, he has an issue with the pedestrian lights at intersections. As soon as he gets to the lights and there’s a red man, he gets aggressive with the button and frantically presses until the green man lights up. It’s really embarrassing to stand next to him when he’s like that so how can I calm him down at the lights?
What is it with that stupid dumbass red man? I’ve had many arguments with my boyfriend about this subject at the lights. My boyfriend may not violently bash at the button, but he verbally bashes me instead.
Every time is the same. We’re holding hands as we get to the lights. I press the button (once) and wait. He lets go of my hand and huffs half way across the road without me. I give him a death stare. He sighs, comes back then gives me a verbal spray full of misused English sounding words followed by a little spittle.
He argues that you can cross the road (with care) if there is a red man. As long as there’s no traffic, the red man is more of a suggestion than an enforceable instruction. He tells me (very loudly sometimes) that it’s a waste of time to stand by the road when there’s clearly no traffic.
I disagree. I argue (much more calmly) that if you’re doing bad things, bad things will happen. If that truck you didn’t see slams in to your person and the subsequent call involves an ambulance or a coroner, you’re in the wrong and you have no-one to blame but yourself. That is, if you’re still alive to start distributing blame. So we argue for twenty seconds, the green man appears, we cross the road and it’s all over.
And the reason I don't just let him go and chance it is because I need him alive for sex and chores around the house. In that order.
PS - But to answer your question, the solution is quite simple. As your boyfriend is bashing the button, start screaming. Tell him your channeling the pain of the red man. Scream that you can feel every bash of the button. He presses, you scream. Repeat.
