Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
It was my birthday yesterday and a friend took me out to lunch. While we were in the line paying, my friend mentioned to the man behind us that it was my birthday. The man responded with ‘Well, [pause] that’s nice.’ … We were shocked. Do you think their response should have been ‘Happy Birthday’? Isn’t it just polite?
What’s not polite are people like you fishing for compliments from a stranger. You’re skating very close to the line of narcissistic and terminally ugly. Come to think of it, I doubt you even have a friend. You sound lonely and desperate and are in need of a good metaphorical and physical slap across the face*.
But having said that, you’re somewhat right about your question. To a degree, it’s ‘nice’ of people to wish you a happy birthday when prompted. But it’s not a required reply. Let me give you an example.
When a fireman asks you where the fire is, you say, ‘over there’ [and point to where the fire is]. You don’t say, ‘In my pants’ and wait for the laughs. No. Why? Because a fireman can bench press 200kg and will most likely be carrying a heavy fire hose or axe in his hand. Plus, in this example, there'd be an actual fire somewhere, that’s not in your pants... So, responding swiftly and correctly is a required reply.
But for the rest of life, there are things called optional reply's. Example. Your child wants to know where baby’s come from. The correct answer is - when Daddy’s penis goes in to Mummy’s vagina [this is a newsflash for some readers]. But this kind of question is met with a plethora of optional reply's. Anything ranging from the birds and bees to the intimacies of love and marriage. So why is this answer optional? Because let’s face it, your child is just going end up learning about sex education from their friends anyway and as soon as a parent says penis, vagina, boobies and butt, everyone feels uncomfortable.
So now you know the difference between required and optional reply's, I’m going to test you to see if you've been paying attention.
My reply is 'Get a life'. Now, is that required or optional?
My reply is 'Get a life'. Now, is that required or optional?
*Angry Aunt doesn’t condone physical violence. All violence must only be administered by a qualified boxer or well known wrestler from WWE.
