Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
My boyfriend went away for a couple of days and said he'd call but he didn't. I told him I was disappointed because he said he'd do something and didn’t do it. I also worry that he's falling out of love with me. I want him to WANT to call me. Does he still love me?
Oh please. I go away for a holiday and come back to this rubbish. Another chick banging on about how [wha-wha], her boyfriend doesn’t do something for her. [Wha-wha.] And in case you can’t read between the brackets, wha-wha. Yes, my holiday was good. We had a nice time.
I don’t blame your boyfriend from wanting to have a couple of days away from you. You sound like an egocentric froufrou. Good on him for managing to finally rip your velcro body off his - even if it's just for a couple of days. I can just imagine him quietly sitting in a dark corner, rocking himself to peace. He’d marvel in the sound of silence then lose himself in the comfort of darkness. This for him, would be a cuddle of pure and magical nothingness. Why is it magical? Well, because...
On the other side of town is you. Sweating over a telephone, jumping on it as soon as it made a noise. Then sometimes, the phone would actually beep, but it would only be because the phone battery was running low. Even your phone hates you so much it wants to die.
So the only thing I can say to you is that you need to give yourself a hard look in the mirror and try not to break it. Sure, you may look good in a pair of jeans and a tank top, but no amount of hairspray and mineral blush can mask the ugliness of your neediness. So step one is to calm down. Step two. Repeat.
Then when you've exhausted step two to a stage where you're just at a normal hyperventilating, neurotic psychopath, step three is to just be glad you have a boyfriend. There are many people in the world who don't have something to walk all over. Oh wait a second - I’m thinking of epoxy floors.
Send Aunty a question - angryauntis@gmail.com
