Dear Angry Agony Aunt,
I was on the train the other day and someone gave up their seat for me because they thought I was pregnant. The thing is that I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. Was it wrong to take the seat?
Yes and No. A bit of a 'Yo'. Of course it’s wrong to deceive your fellow man. But as far as you were concerned, a seat space had opened up. You’d be an idiot to give up an available seat on a packed train so kudos to you for getting that part of the conundrum right.
But for the rest of it, I question your ethics, morals and choice of hair colour. I mean, you’re fat. You’ve spent days/months/years sitting down, it’s time for you to start sharing the joy of laziness with others. So even though not wasting a seat is good, your tuckshop lady arms are bad. Bad, bad, bad.
But let me be honest. Your ‘fat’ problem concerns me a lot less than another pressing issue I have with ‘priority seating’. And my blog isn’t big enough for the both of us. So move over fatso, I’m going to give another answer.
What happens when you have only one seat available and there’s three people - an old person, a disabled person and a pregnant lady? Who gets the seat? Does the disabled person trump an old person, trump a pregnant lady? Is this how rock, paper, scissors was invented? And what happens if you have three of a kind getting on the train at the same time? For example, do all the old people have to get out their seniors cards to prove who’s older and in need of the last seat? Is it the person who got there first or should it be the person who gets there last? I mean, if you got there last, doesn’t that mean you’re the one that needs the seat the most? It’s all very confusing and I’m very confused.
So after all that, I only have one piece of advice for you. Lose weight. Fatty.
